The way you make me feel

This awesome video keeps making my day every time I watch it. I love the voice and style of this Kawehi, and even though this song is the first I heard it's still my absolute favourite.

Now to some more serious stuff. I keep getting to know new people all the time, and sometimes I get this amazing feeling with someone I am meeting for the first time - it's as if I would have met an old childhood friend even thought it's not possible we would have known each other before. A certain warmth and comfort and easiness radiates from them to my being. I love that feeling, and I want to be able to spend time with those people and give them the real me to say so in return, being honestly myself and trying to make them feel relaxed in my company too, make them see how easy they make me feel.

I don't exactly know why, but I also have this certain kind of other people I always start getting really interested in. The stupid thing is that I know they are not my kind of people, and that I will not enjoy their company, because they - on the contrary to the first kind of people I tried to describe - make me feel like I have to wear a mask of something different than my comfortable self for making them like me. Then I don't know why in the world I want to make them like me, when I know that I don't like the company of people who make me wear a mask. That is so annoying, and I fall for it too many times even when realising the stupidity of that problem, and that it's fully my own fault.

Neither of those types of people are homogeneous groups, but include people with many different personalities and characters. The one thing uniting all those is just that something that makes me like them. With the first group I feel like home, and with the other one I feel like in a masquerade. I feel so weak sometimes for not being able to resist the urge to impress the second kind of people, and I hate those situations - who would like to feel themselves weak anyway... Then again the first ones make me feel so nice that when I am with someone like it, I feel strong and confident and swear I'll never again make the mistake of wanting to be with people who don't make me feel good. I guess I have some more accepting and learning and gaining more self-confidence to do to get over the second kind of people.

Then one of the most difficult things for me to do is to end a relationship I don't feel comfortable in. Sometimes it's easy to just let it slip away, but now I'm dealing with more than one people with whom I feel like it was a mistake to get so close. It is so hard for me, because I keep thinking that I don't want to hurt anyone by telling them how they make me feel when it's not something positive, and more when I feel like they actually trust me. Normally I try to be honest always (well maybe not 100 % when someone is asking how they look in an outfit or something like that, though even then I try to find the best things to say about it), but these situations make me feel awkward and lost and like I'm made to choose between two rotten options. Those are another situations then, where I need to and want to grow.


Now my back and every muscle is hurting for so much dancing yesterday, but that's how I know I had a great time in a party - not for a hangover or for not remembering anything like some.
And now that the summer is waving its goodbyes, I'll guard it with me in the memories of these pretty flowers from Finland and the warmth of Spain (:

I dream

I dream of a better world, because I'm such a hopeful person. I dream that if I make the world better action by action, maybe other people will notice how nice it is and start doing good actions too. I dream that it might be possible that everyone eventually would be peaceful like buddhas if everyone thought like I do, even though I know it's practically never happening.

I dream of living a life with no chemicals. I dream of a world with clean and fresh food, no polluted waters, no accumulation of poisons in food chains - a life where everyone at least has the chance to choose. I dream of a healthy world.

I dream of being able to live without thinking what how others see me. I dream of dancing as if no one is watching, and never being ashamed of my opinions, clothes or anything where I'm swimming against the stream of majority. I dream of being confident.

I dream of living in the middle of a forest. I dream of having my own house, garden, chicken, to be able to be as self-sufficient as possible. I dream of living with nature.

I dream of having horses. I dream of understanding them, receiving and giving unconditional love from and to them, and every other animal I will ever have. I dream of being able to give the animals staying with me the best possible life, and to have life-long friends of other species. I dream of earning their trust.

I dream of getting really good with photography. I dream of showing my thinking to the world with my pictures. I dream of touching, moving or changing someone's mind with only an image I took. I dream of creating emotions, changes, smiles, laughters and tears with the moments captured on paper. I dream of showing people something they never would see without my camera.

I dream of seeing many different cultures and learning from them. I dream of sharing it all and and teaching it to other people with the help of my camera and words. I dream of teaching.

I dream of being able to change people's ways of thinking, so that my dream of a better world might come true one day. I dream of changing the world with the power of pictures, and the power of words, and the power of love.

I dream of loving someone unconditionally with all my heart, and expecting nothing in return. I dream of being unconditionally loved by that same person. I dream of a family that I can share my dreams with.

I dream of never to stop learning. I dream of never to stop questioning. I dream of never to stop teaching. I dream of never to stop finding happiness inside me. I dream of never to stop seeing the beauty all around me. I dram of never to stop loving. I dream of never to stop dreaming.

Ice Fishing

I really loved photographing an ice fishing competition one weekend here, even though the weather was challenging because of snow and wind. I am still really happy with the result, as this was one of my first times photographing an event and people, and not just nature or some artistic stuff. All the children's parents have been asked permission to use these here, and there were some who didn't want them to be used, so here we have the best of the pictures with permission to be used. One of the best pics I took I still don't know if I can use it or not, but I'll add it afterwords when I get the word.

With some pictures there was a snowflake on the lens, but let's not let it bother (;

City Life

I Feel Good

Today I feel good. I have have a perfect day of realizing that there's no point in worrying about something that I can't do anything about, accepting that I might not be perfect but that's ok and that people are different and that's ok too and that I would actually like to show love to everyone, and maybe they'd realize to show it more in their lives too. I feel SO NICE right now, in the moment, being present and relaxed and happy. This is a feeling I'd like to hold on.

And here are some pictures of the actual me, and I look pretty much like my positive self in these. Those brown eyes are not mine, O got in the pictures also (:

I want to spread happiness to everyone reading this! You too, remember to love enough!